cast all the negativity away

Mixed feelings about today... It was full of ups and downs. Mostly downs. :( I got lost and no one really helped me. It felt so lonely walking all alone, in a foreign place I don't know much about. but at least there were some friends who accompanied me at the end so im thankful for that :')
I wonder when i will find true friends within that group. not that they're bad, they're wonderful people. all of them. And for a small part of the day, I actually genuinely enjoyed myself with everyone :) but i just cant seem to open up myself to them. maybe just a handful of them. as much as i like having such a close group of friends sometimes it just isn't the same when there are cliques and obvious gaps and unfamiliarity btw some ppl. When will I actually enjoy this with what I had in mind when I first joined? I hope it's soon. Because I'm really starting to feel weary about all this. All the time, effort put in and no progress when it comes to such matters. I want this really badly because I know this will definitely make my experience a richer one and one I will remember for life.
and my dad really doesn't understand me just so freaking annoyed now 😪 do you really have to say all that to me when I'm all worn out from the day?
Just feeling really sorry for myself today. Angry sad all at the same time. Sunday tomorrow doesn't really help anything. Maybe I should just sleep everything off.